Walmart makes you dumb.

I avoid Walmart. In Maine, this is easy to do, just don't go in. The out-of-your-way drive and terrible hours help make this goal attainable. In NH, though, which is where I am for break, Walmart is in the center of Concord and my bank lives in it. For this reason, I went in.

My mission was simple:

1. Purchase a world map

2. Purchase a national newspaper

Turns out, not so simple.

After walking the store twice, I asked for help. A nice young man who wasn't wearing a ridiculous vest approached me and showed me the dismal selection of New Hampshire road maps. No.

"What about in the children's section?" I suggested.

We tried.

Nope.

"Thank you anyway."

On my way out of the store I saw no traces of a newspaper stand. I, again, asked. 

"Right there."

My choices were: The Union Leader -- a respectable paper I used to freelance for, and Laconia Gazette -- a county paper with who bought whose horse and for how many goats. Neither of these would help prepare me for the international current events test Columbia will give me next month.

Mission: fail. No newspaper, no map.

HOWEVER, this Walmart had 30 different women's magazines detailing how fat I was and where, and how to lose it; and 400 different ways to please my man. I could have bought at least five different types of pink cupcakes and 3,490 assortments of Tupperware.

Perhaps Walmart's priorities are skewed. Perhaps Walmart's patrons are not of the highest intellect, but maybe if the store sold more educational tools it could help remedy the latter.